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Inara: But perhaps the dining area isn't the place for this sort of thing?
Mal: What do you mean? Only place with a table big enough.
Inara: Of course. In that case... (rearranges guns) Every well-bred petty crook knows...the small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting.
Inara: It sounds like the sort of thing this crew can handle. I can't guarantee they'll handle it particularly well, but --
Nandi: If they got guns, and brains at all...
Inara: They have guns.
Inara: I suppose you heard most of that?
Mal: Only 'cause I was eavesdropping.
Jayne: Good. 'cause I don't know these folks. Don't much care to.
Mal: They're whores.
Jayne: I'm in.
Mal: Any friend of Inara's is a strictly businesslike relationship of mine.
Mal: This is my first mate, Zoe. I'll introduce you to the rest in a bit. They're good folk.
Jayne: Can I start getting sexed already?
Mal: Well, that one's kind of horrific.
Jayne: Man, my John Thomas is gonna pop off and fly around the room, there's so much tasty here.
Wash: Would be you get your most poetical about your pecker.
Kaylee: Everybody's got somebody. Wash, tell me I'm pretty.
Wash: Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.
Mal: Inara, think you could stoop to being on my arm?
Inara: Will you wash it first?
Mal: I swear to you, it's like money and good taste are inversely proportional.
Inara: That might make you the most tasteful man I've ever met.
Mal: Funny.
Mal: Well, lady I must say...you're my kinda stupid.
Inara: How many babies have you actually delivered?
Simon: As the primary? This would be the first. You?
Inara: My first too.
River: Mine too.
Nandi: It was the dulcimer.
Mal: The dulcimer drove you out of Sihnon. What, did you kill a dulcimer in a terrible passion?
Nandi: Actually, yes.
Mal: And that dulcimer's family is looking to get even. I get it.
Mal: Miss Nandi, I have a confession to make.
Nandi: Maybe I should get the Shepherd.
Mal: Well, I ain't sinned yet, and I'd feel more than a little awkward having him here when I do.
Nandi: You expect to accomplish something sinful then, do you?
Inara: I wouldn't say I'm entirely okay. I'm a little appalled at her taste.
Wash: Nice day for a last stand, innit?
Mal: Nope. Plan to make a healthy few stands after this one.
Jayne: Whoa now, girl, that's just plain dirty--
Mal: Jayne...you aware your radio's transmittin'? Cause I ain't feelin' particular girlish or dirty at the moment.