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Mal:Was that the primary buffer panel? Did the primary buffer panel just fall off my gorram ship for no apparent reason?
Zoe:We crashin' again?
Mal: Define intersting.
Wash:"Oh God, oh God, we're all gonna die?"
Mal: This is your captain speaking. We may experience some slight turbulance and then...explode.
Mal: (About River)If anything happened to her, I swear, I'd get very choked up. Honestly, there could be tears.
Mal: Y'all want to be looking very intently at your own belly buttons.
Zoe: (Sarcastic)At last, we can retire and give up this life of crime.
Mal: I'm gonna need you to open that vault.
Vault Guy: You have to give me your authorization password. (Gunshots) Okay.
Jayne: Mal!
Mal: Every heist he's gotta start yellin' my name.
Jayne: Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?
Jayne: I won't get ate. You shoot me if they take me! (Mal aims gun) Well don't shoot me first!
River: I swallowed a bug.
Mal: (After Kaylee asks Simon if he's okay) Is he okay?
Mal: She is fine! Except for still being crazy, she's the picture of health.
Mal: I should have dumped the girl, or you, or Jayne? (Pauses in thought) Well, Jayne...
Jayne: Eating people alive? Where does that get fun?
Kaylee: (talking to Simon after he decides to leave Serenity) And don't ride in anything with a Capissen 38 engine, they fall right out of the sky!
Kaylee: Going on a year now, I ain't had nothing twixt my nethers that weren't run on batteries.
Mal: Oh God! I can't know that!
Mal: (When asked by the twins how he can tell them apart)Fanty's prettier.
Jayne: My muscular buttocks it's 40.
Wash: Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a ninety-pound girl, 'cause I don't think that's ever getting old.
Jayne: (When Simon starts to repeat River's safe word)Don't say it!
Zoe: It only works on her, Jayne.
Jayne: Well, now I know that.
Mal: (Talking to Inara)Kaylee, she's been missing you something fierce...
Zoe, Wash, Jayne and Kaylee: Oh!
Zoe: So, trap?
Mal: Trap
Zoe: We going in?
Mal: Ain't but a few hours out
Wash: Yeah, but remember the part where it's a trap?
Kaylee: How do you know that Inara just don't want to see you? People have feelings sometimes. I'm referring to people here.
Mal: Y'all were watching I take it?
Kaylee: Yes
Mal: Did you see us fight?
Kaylee: No
Mal: Trap
Mal: If you don't hear from me within the hour, you take this ship and you come rescue me.
Zoe: What? Risk my ship?
Mal: I'm serious. It's cold out there and I don't wanna get left.
Inara: Mal, what are you doing here?
Mal: You invited me, remember?
Inara: I never thought for one second that you'd be stupid enough to come!
Mal: Well, that makes you kind of a tease, doesn't it?
The Operative: I am impressed, Captain, that you would come for her yourself. And that you made it this far in that outfit.
Mal: I can be very graceful when I want to be.
The Operative: I have no doubt.
The Operative: (To Mal)You can't make me angry.
Inara: Please. Spend an hour with him.
The Operative: Nothing here is what is seems. He is not the plucky hero, the Alliance isn't some evil empire, this is not the Grand Arena...
Inara: And that's not insence. (BOOM!)
Inara: We should be very afraid.
Jayne: Why? 'Cause this guy beat up Mal? That ain't so hard.
Mal: You wanna run this ship?
Jayne: Yes
Mal: Well...you can't!
Jayne: Hey, I'm talking at you!
Zoe: She's out. Jayne's down
Mal: If I'm wrong, you best shoot me now. (River cocks gun) Or we could talk more.
Kaylee: How is it that there is an entire planet called Miranda and none of us knowed that?
Wash: Whoa! No no! Honey, show them the bad
Wash: I'm on board with our standard run and hide scenario.
Mal: They should've hit me.
Book: That crossed my mind.
Jayne: She is starting to damage my calm.
Wash: It's okay! I'm a leaf on the wind!
Mal: What does that mean?
Mal: No no no...
Wash: Yes yes!
Zoe: Do you really think that any of us are going to get through this?
Jayne: Well I might.
Jayne: She picked a sweet bun of a time to go all helpless on us.
Simon: My one regret in all this is never being with you.
Kaylee: With me? You mean to say...sex?
Simon: I mean to say.
Kaylee: To Hell with this. (cocks gun) I'm gonna live!
Mal: Hard to get to?! That's a fact.
Mal: (to Operative)You shot me in the back! I haven't made you angry, have I?
The Operative: Are you prepared to die for that belief?
Mal: I am. (Shoots Operative several times.) Of course, that ain't exactly plan A.
Jayne: (When asked how much ammo he has left)Three full mags and my swinging cod.
Mal: (When asked what's his favorite of the seven deadly sins)Hell, I'm a fan of all seven. But right now, I'd have to go with wrath.
Mal: Could be bumpy.
Zoe: Always is.
Mal: (Piece falls off Serenity) What was that?