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Lund: Y'know, your coat is kinda a brownish color.
Mal: It was on sale.
Wash: Every man there go back inside, or we will blow a new crater in this little moon.
River: Mal, bad. In the Latin.
Mal: Well what about you, Shepherd? How come you're flying about with us brigands? I mean, shouldn't you be off bringing religiosity to the fuzzy-wuzzies or some such?
Book: Oh, I've got heathens aplenty right here.
Mal: If I'm your mission, Shepherd, best give it up. You're welcome on my boat, God ain't.
Inara: You have such lovely hair. I'm sure the doctor would agree.
Kaylee: Who? Simon? No, he's much too, I mean I'm just... do you think it looks better up?
Inara: We can experiment. We might even get wild later and wash your face.
Inara: What did I say to you about barging into my shuttle?
Mal: That it was manly and impulsive?
Mal: Kaylee, what the hell's going on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?
Zoe: He's a psycho, you know. Niska.
Mal: He's not the first psycho to hire us. Nor the last. You think that's a commentary on us?
Niska:(Motions to man hanging dead in closet)He's my wife's nephew. At dinner, I am getting earful.
Zoe: Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.
Jayne: Time for some thrilling heroics.
Jayne: These are stone killers, little man. They ain't cuddly like me.
Mal: Whatever happens, remember I love you.
Zoe: Sir?
Mal: Because you're my wife.
Zoe: Right. Sir. Honey.
Wash: Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?
Mal: Now, this is all the money Niska gave us in advance. You bring it back to him. Tell him the job didn't work out. We're not thieves. But we are thieves. Point is, we're not talking what's his. We'll stay out of his way as best we can from here on in. You explain that's best for everyone, okay?
Crow: Keep the money. Use it to buy a funeral. It doesn't matter where you go or how far you fly. I will hunt you down, and the last thing you see will be my blade.
Mal: Darn. (Kicks Crow through running engines. Next bad guy is brought forward.) Now, this is all the money Niska gave us-
Bad Guy: I get it! I'm good. Best for everyone. I speak for everyone. I'm right there with ya.