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Mal: Yep... That went well.
Monty: Now what the hell is goin' on here? Whaddya mean she ain't my wife?
Mal: She ain't your wife... 'cause she's married to me.
Monty: You said you loved me for me.
Mal: Believe me, Monty. She says that to all the boys.
Mal: This is my scrap of nowhere. You go on and find your own.
Saffron: I'll die.
Mal: Well, as a courtesy, you might start getting busy on that, cause all this chatter ain't doin' me any kindness.
Inara: Honestly, Mal, if we can't be civilized and talk like --
Mal: I'm plenty civilized. You're using wiles on me.
Inara: I'm using what?
Mal: Your feminine wiles. Your companion training, your some-might-say uncanny ability to make a man sweaty and/or compliant, of which I have had just about enough today.
Inara: I'm not sleeping with you, Mal.
Mal: Uh, no, I think I would have noticed if you were. My keenly trained...senses would have...
Mal: Hey, no, we'll just set course for Planet of the Lonely Rich and Appropriately Hygienic Man. I'll just tell Wash, we can park there for a month.
Inara: Right. You're a criminal mastermind. What was the last cargo we snuck past the Alliance to transport?
Mal: We made a perfectly good piece --
Inara: What was the cargo?
Mal: They were dolls!
Inara: They were little geisha dolls with big heads that wobbled!
Mal: People love those!
Inara: Well, since I can't seem to find work as companion, I might as well become a petty thief like you!
Mal: Petty.
Inara: I didn't mean petty.
Mal: What did you mean?
Inara: Suo-shee?
Mal: That's Chinese for petty.
Saffron: Please. Nobody died last time. Right? Where's the old guy with the hair?
Jayne: Captain says you're to stay put. Doesn't want you runnin' afoul of his blushin' psychotic bride. She figures out who you are, she'll turn you in 'fore you can say... "don't turn me in, lady".
Jayne: Well, I say as a rule that girlfolk ain't to be trusted.
River: Jayne is a girl's name.
Jayne: Well Jayne ain't a girl. She starts on that "girl's name" thing, I'm a show her good an' all I got man parts.
Simon: I'm trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. It's just not coming.
Simon: Great. Another exciting adventure in sitting.
Zoe: See, that's where me and Companionship part ways. I never could work the notion of pretending a man was gettin' it done when he wasn't.
Inara: So you've never pretended to fall.
Zoe: Well, never is a strong word...sometimes it's easier.
Inara: What about with Wash?
Zoe: One time. Poor boy was bone-tired...
Inara: And?
Zoe: He knew. Son of a bitch called me on it.
Inara: That's the one you marry.
Zoe: See you when we're wealthy...
Mal: Well, then, this is a day I'll feel good to be me.
Saffron: We gotta move fast.
Mal: Yeah, he might come back and hug us in the act.
Saffron: Durran. This isn't what it looks like...
Mal: Unless it looks like we're stealing your priceless Mexican, 'cause that's what we're doing. Don't ask me about the gun, 'cause that's new.
Saffron: He's my husband.
Mal: Well who in the damn galaxy isn't?
Mal: I hate to bring up our imminent arrest during your crazy time, but we gotta move.
Saffron: You must be loving this.
Mal: Little bit. I seen you without your clothes on before. Never thought I'd see you naked.
River: Also, I can kill you with my brain.